Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Captain Tribulation

[Originally posted at Slacktivist in two places.]
[Someone called Mike suggested, "maybe it's a Captain Planet kind of thing. "By your powers combined, I am Captain Tribulation!"" which got me thinking along these lines.]

[First post:]

I'm trying to think of what the rings would be
Fire and Brimstone!
Demon Locusts!
Water turned to Blood!
By your powers combined, I am Captain Tribulation!
[Second post:]

Carrying on with Captain Tribulation:
Captain Tribulation, not a hero,
Gonna take the population down to zero,
He's our powers magnified,
And he's fighting on disasters' side
Captain Tribulation, not a hero,
Gonna take the population down to zero,
Gonna help to put the world under
Rule of a God likes to rage and thunder
(Nicolae:)"You'll pay for this Captain Tribulation!"
We're the tribulateers
You can be one too!
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to not do,
Heroics and brave action is not the way
Hear what Captain Tribulation has to say:
Looking at the original lyrics, do people really say, "put asunder" in that context?


[Left Behind Index]


  1. Matt 19:6: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - also used in the marriage service ("What God has joined together let no man put asunder") if people are being traditionally Christian about it.

    Presumably the Tribulateers' job is to stay bravely in bed in their deep safe hole, because helping people hurts God's plan...

    1. I should have been more specific, in the original Captain Planet theme song lines 3 and 4 of verse two are, "Gonna help to put asunder / bad guys who like to loot and plunder." Except... what does that even mean?

      Put asunder means pull apart, as in the Bible passage you quote where it means, "let no one pull apart what God has put together." So Captain Planet is going to do what? Pull apart the bad guys? That's be kind of violent for him.