I never actually got into what was making me title the last post what it was.
It wasn't just not getting any real sleep in however long, it was also getting home yesterday. My sister isn't allowed to drive for two weeks, so we took her car to her home where my dad was waiting to take my mother back to her car still at the hospital at which point my mother and I could drive home.
Seems simple right?
Except my dad refused to fucking leave. My mother, in spite of clearly wanting to leave, didn't help either. At one point my sister said she needed to take a shower so someone else had to hold the baby, I pointed out that of the five people there (all experienced in holding the baby) it couldn't be myself, my mother or my father since we were leaving and would probably all be home by the time my sister got out of the shower. My mother took the baby. Which, since she never handed off the baby, trapped us there until after my sister was done showering. Well after.
More pointless delays. Then, after we finally got out of the house, my mother discovered she had forgotten something, looked in the one place other than her car back at the hospital it was likely to be, and then kept on giving my dad completely unnecessary and uncalled for information which tended to make him want to search my sister's entire house top to bottom with a thoroughness surpassing even that of crime scene investigators in spite of her wanting, and finally actually expressing this desire, to go.
Also, before that, my dad tried to make a point, which if he'd properly limited it would have been a very good point on white privilege in America, that was destroyed by overgeneralizing, specifically he seemed to forget that white people live in parts of the world beyond the US and western Europe. (He referred to Europe as a whole, but I don't think he was thinking about the eastern parts.)
My sister made a point about Dolphin Safe Tuna which I could have responded to with information about efforts at by-catch reduction and why the dolphins were so associated with tuna by-catch but interruptions made it impossible to get a word in edgewise.
But mostly it was not being able to go home after around a week or more without much in the way of sleep. Even my sister, who had just given birth, was better rested than I was.
And at some point in there there was a question of pain. Especially given that someone had just given birth, and that unlike my mother giving birth for my sister did seem to fit the narrative of "worst pain ever" that pain is relative based on the person. Someone else being in worse pain doesn't make your own any better.
On Monday crossing the city twice to make one of my classes had my legs in incredible pain because they weren't ready to walk. By yesterday my legs had recovered but that was my first day in new shoes. If I'd considered that I was going to have to walk across the city again I would have put off wearing the new shoes. As is, long walk, unbroken in shoes, general weariness == very bad pain in the feet.