Monday, August 31, 2015

I have socks!

While from a purely pragmatic standpoint it would be better for me to continue to encourage you to embrace your inner Activision gamer and send me an email about buying skylanders, or prod you to buy The Princess Who Saved Herself from me, the fact is that, for the first time in a long time, I have socks.

Now the Princess never wore her socks, which is ok for her because she's the badass princess of awesomeville, but for me socks are kind of a necessity.  My feet are shaped weird anyway, I don't know the details because I'm not a foot person and thus they look like feet to me, but I've seen the reactions when one foot person called another food person over to take a look at these things.

I think it has something to do with the arch.  I've got a huge arch that doesn't stay arched which means that without proper support my foot gets all wacky and seems like it's absurdly wide for its length or absurdly short for it's width or something like that.  I do have a wide foot, but not as wide as it looks without arch support.

The other big thing is that whole thing about the heel-ankle-leg connection.  My heels need to be elevated (not a lot, just a bit) or else my foot will force itself into a position where the back of my shoe starts trying to gnaw my foot off at the ankle.

There's also something about toe length, but that is neither here nor there.  And I have a tendency to step on the side of my foot for no apparent reason every so often leading to a lot of near-sprained ankles and some actual sprains.

And all of this leads to having to have very precise adjustments to any shoe I get which I never do.  But that's where socks come in.  I can pull the arch supporting heel elevating inserts out of one pair of shoes, stick them into another, and the total lack of precision is ok because fucking socks are fantastic.

If a centimeter of elevation is the difference between things being fine and having my shoes try to gnaw off my feet, then think about how much comparative leeway is provided by the softy cushy nature of completely ordinary socks.

And, also, wearing shoes without socks leads to not just general problems and spesific blisters, but also disgusting sweatyness.




  1. Ain't got the measles
    Ain't got the chickenpox
    My one source of infection
    Is that I got socks
    I Got Socks, from The Truth About The Flaming Ghoulies